I’ve talked a lot about the drama at my job as a result of all the acquisition related changes. Those of you who have been following the saga know it’s been fraught with many challenges, disappointments and frustrations. At this point, if I was going to characterize my general mood, I’d sum it up with one word: tired. It’s been a long, hard road where I’ve run an emotional marathon. I’ve felt just about everything there is to feel and am now left emotionally drained, physically exhausted and completely numb to the whole thing. Ironically, apathetic numbness is strongly preferred in this new culture to passionate emotion. Drama is a 4-letter word around here. And the “who cares…it’s just a job…pass me my paycheck” crowd is now seen as the model for success.

They are the enlightened ones…the ones positively embracing the new way. The clock watchers who skate by doing, giving and caring as little as possible; they are the new beacons of hope lighting the way for the rest of us. Some of us have poured our heart and soul into this job, worked around the clock to perform miracles—just so we could make a client happy or help land a huge new client—sacrificed way too much for way too little. We’re emotional because it’s sad and we’re sad because we care. But all they see is drama. And we are damaged goods.

I have been asked, on more than one occasion, directly to my face the following question in one form or another: “Do you think there’s so much drama because you’re all a bunch of women?”

I’m not kidding. Heaven help me, I wish it was. And it has been insinuated, frequently, that a lot of the “issues” are hormonally driven. I work with a group primarily consisting of insanely passionate, driven, talented, dedicated, wickedly smart and ferociously loyal and committed employees. They have consistently defied the laws of reality to accomplish phenomenal things. And they’ve been able to do a job it takes at least ten people in other companies to do—and do it infinitely better. They happen to be an all female group. But if you can look at that much talent and potential and see nothing more than an extra X chromosome, I don’t know what else to say. Are we emotional about what has happened and continues to happen? Of course. Do we have a right to be? Hell yes we do.

I get it. I know why they want to sweep everything under the emotional rug, label us all as emotional little girls who just need to suck it up and get over it already. Mistakes have been made. Huge, astronomical mistakes. Things have been said which would make HR’s ears bleed. Legitimate, oh my god concerns have been placed on the table. But if it’s all just one big hormonal meltdown, none of it has to be taken seriously. Blame can be deferred and reassessed. People can sleep at night. Meanwhile, I haven’t slept through the night in over a year. But I’m just being dramatic.